Tribute to the kindest man I have seen

I was not feeling very well yesterday. It has been this long-drawn cough, cold which had morphed itself into a sinusitis and headache. As soon as I wound up clinic around 1.30 PM, I decided to leave for home. My friend, a physiotherapist had come to clinic and whenever he comes, I hitch a pillion ride on his motorbike till Chengalpet from where I take the train home. But yesterday was not a routine day. Early in the morning, I got a call from the wife of one of my long-term patients and good friend. He had been fighting for life in a critical care unit with complications of chronic kidney disease for more than a week now. He passed away early yesterday morning. This was running in my mind throughout the day. I was conflicted between going to to their home and going home to get some rest. I decided I will go home. I got on to my friend’s motorbike and almost reached Chengalpet. Throughout the ride all I could think of was the man who had passed on and his family. So somewhere just before Chengalpet, I requested my friend to drop me as I changed my mind and decided I would go to their home. I have never been to their home before; I did not even know how to get there. All I knew was the name of their village. I went to the bus stand with a blind faith that some bus will come and somehow, I will reach the village. Just at that time an autorickshaw carrying some big food carrier boxes came and stopped in front of me. The driver was a man in his 50s. He saw me and asked me where I wanted to go. I knew the village that I had to reach was too far for an auto ride, more than 20 KM. So I said, it doesn’t matter and asked him to leave. He insisted and asked me, “Tell me sir, I will at least see if I can drop you somewhere on the way.” I did not know why he felt the need to ask me that. Maybe I was clueless and looking quite sick and he wanted to help. I told him the name of the village and he said, “Come, hop on. I will see where I can drop you.” I was too tired and so without giving it much thought I just hopped on. 

 

The man went some 4 KM and then took a right on the main road. There he went into a village and dropped off the food carriers. A family event was happening in the village, and they must have ordered food with a caterer. After that he came back and told me, “I am free after this, what do you say, I drop you in the village and you pay me 500 rupees?” I had meanwhile checked the map on my phone and the distance to the village showed about 29 KMs. I agreed for the amount and we went. It was a smooth ride and the driver said, “I know the route till one main village, beyond that I do not know the exact route. Do you have map on your phone?” I put on the map on my phone and we followed the directions. Soon we reached the main village that he was talking about. Beyond this place the roads were bad. The map got crazy and started reorienting repeatedly. We got misled and went on a different route and when we stopped and asked a young man there, he said that we had come 5-6 km beyond the intended village. So, we traced back our route on the bumpy road and reached the village. We could see the name board of the village, but I had no clue where my patient’s home was. We stopped in a small tea shop near the village bus stand. There were a group of women sitting there on the bench and having tea. As soon as I walked to them, one of them said, “You are that doctor in the rural clinic, aren’t you?” I was surprised to be recognized some 30 KM away from the clinic. I never expected patients from so far away to visit our clinic. I nodded and even before I could ask, the lady told her friends, “He must have come for the death of Mr. R.” She turned to me and pointed out the road where my patient’s home is. 

 

Mr. R, is one of the kindest men I have seen. I wrote about an anecdote with Mr. R last year. He always came to the clinic with a shy and gentle smile. He was a man of very few words. But you can perceive kindness flowing from his eyes the moment you see him. He would very softly inquire me if I had eaten, especially if it was very late in the day. On days when my clinic would run beyond 2 PM without a break, Mr. R would notice and bring me bananas or a piece of teacake from some shop; I never knew how far he travelled to get them as there were no shops near our clinic. He is someone who believed very strongly that if a patient goes to a doctor and gets better, after getting better, the patient must go back to the doctor, give them the information that they are better and show gratitude. It is extremely rare to see such patients. I knew he lived far from the clinic, but yesterday when I went to his home was when I realized how far! 

 

One time he developed a very deep ulcer over his foot, a typical agricultural injury that had gotten infected. He was in severe pain. I was doing dressing of his feet. Usually when I do dressings of painful ulcers, patients express their pain by shouting, or by crying. I would reassure them that it would be fine by uttering some words to pacify them. But when I did dressing for Mr. R’s wound, it was the exact opposite. Despite his pain, he was trying to somehow make my work comfortable by putting himself in an uncomfortable position so that I would get access to his ulcer without bending too much. And the entire process of wound dressing would go without a single sound. I would get the first invitation for all his family events. His two daughters got married, then they had children. A couple of years ago his son got married. I never got the chance or time to go for any of the happy events of his family. I realized that the first time I am visiting him at his home was for his funeral. 

 

As soon as I entered their home his two daughters and son ran to me and huddled around me. The younger daughter cried and said, “Sir, that day when we came to meet you, you asked him to get admitted in the GH. Before that he was refusing to go to the hospital. The only reason he went was because of the immense faith he had in you.” She was referring to the day when he had developed high grade fever, unconsciousness, seizures and had come to see me. I had suspected worsening of his kidney failure and had referred him to the government general hospital for higher treatment. From there his condition deteriorated and he developed septic shock and died. The elder daughter cried out, “Appa, look, your most favourite person in this world has come to visit you.” It broke my heart to realize that this man had loved me so much and had considered me his favourite person. But then, Mr. R is like that. He only knew how to love people! 

 

Mr. R belonged to the Christian faith and to know him was to see the Christ’s love in action. His patience, kindness, empathy, showed everyone that he was not just a Christian by faith, he was a Christian by practice and lived his life in the way shown by Christ. I left from his home with a heavy heart and am writing this tribute to one of the kindest persons I have seen, coming from a village that is not on the map, poor by economic status, but supremely rich by character!