Misappropriation versus Representation

I am writing this blog after a long time. This hiatus is because of a mental health set-back. I am trying to recover and get back into a routine. I am grateful to some of my readers who remembered and asked me specifically why I haven’t been writing. Thank you for your trust and your patience. 

When I used to be a teacher in a medical college, one of my favorite classes used to be an interactive narrative session on caste as a determinant of health. My work with RUWSEC, a Dalit women’s organization over the past 15 years has given me significant insights into caste as a major determinant of health, wellness, illness, and treatment seeking behavior. I used to share stories from the things I have seen and heard during my work in RUWSEC. I vividly remember one of the classes in late 2023. It was a class of first year medical students. I was talking to them about the story of how I was dressing the wound over the foot of a patient. The patient belonged to Dalit community and when I went to touch his feet to do the dressing, he physically withdrew his feet saying, “Sir, you cannot touch my feet.” Years of internalized caste-based discrimination made him believe that a person from a dominant caste cannot touch the feet of a person from Dalit community. He had experienced it even from the health system personnel in the past. I was narrating this story in the class and one student from the last bench raised his hand and got up. He seemed quite upset with the narrative. He asked me, “You are unnecessarily introducing a caste angle into this episode. How do you know that it was because of internalized caste-based discrimination that made him withdraw? It could have just been respect for a learned person.” I did not have a proper response to his question. Yes, it was my interpretation of the scenario. He seemed quite upset and commented, “Probably that man’s story is not yours to tell.” I was thinking about what the young student had said for a long time. But then there was no time for discussing it further and the episode remained a distant memory. 

 

I have been writing stories of my patients with my interpretations in these blogs for some time now. Sometimes, I question myself if I am misappropriating their stories and making them my blogs. When I write these stories with my name as the author, am I not making these my stories? When I argue for social justice and fairness, isn’t it me that the readers are focusing on, rather than the person whose story I am writing? Am I not taking the limelight, pushing the person whose story I am saying to the background. I have been introspecting on this. This young student’s point reinforced this doubt that I had. 

 

Today after work, I met a friend over coffee. He wanted to meet me as we hadn’t seen each other for a long time. We were talking about honor killing episode that has happened in Tamil Nadu now. We were discussing the importance of creating a discourse and talking about it. At that time, I asked my friend whether those stories are ours to tell. I was reminded of this internal conflict that I have been going through regarding misappropriation of other people’s stories. My friend had a different take on the matter, and it helped me address my internal conflict. 

 

When the survivor of oppression narrates their story, it is often viewed with sympathy and pity. It becomes a sad narrative that people feel sorry about. But it stops there. But when an uninvolved person empathizes with the situation and talks about it, it assumes a completely different dimension. It becomes a social narrative. It becomes something important that needs to be discussed. For example, when a patient who has been oppressed talks about the discrimination and oppression in the health system, it is viewed as a blame game. The health system stands up against this patient and labels them as ungrateful and thankless. But when a health care provider takes it up and talks about it, it is no longer a blame game. It becomes a matter of social importance. When a Dalit person talks about caste based discrimination, it is seen just as a pitiable story. But when the same story is narrated with a view to transform the situation by someone who is not Dalit, it assumes a different dimension. My friend thinks that all people must be open to talking about all issues. It is not misappropriation. It is representation. I have something to think about tonight. With a lot of gratitude, I walked out of the meeting.