A blog I wrote recently on mental health received a wide range of comments and feedback. Some of them were feedback where the reader said they related to what was being mentioned. The others were differences with the stand I had taken in the blog. Some of the feedback was because of gaps in communication between what I intended to write, what I wrote and what the reader interpreted from it. I have had some chance to reflect more on mental health, mental illness, coping and resilience. Here is a follow up to my previous blog on mental health and coping.
The main premise of the previous blog was that people who live in uncertain life situations, typically those who live in poverty, but could also include others who have uncertainties other than money in their life, may have better coping styles. Alternatively they may not have the time or space to address their mental health issues, which they may brush under the carpet and move on with life. My friend and I have been discussing these issues subsequently. One strategy that both my friend and I have used to handle our mental health issues is to distract ourself from the issue that is causing the distress and keeping ourselves busy. I started working 7 days a week almost 14 years ago and continue doing it till date. My friend also has a similar kind of work life. We agreed that the days when we are super-busy doing things, there is no time to sit and reflect on our mental health.
I also recollected my days as a post-graduate registrar at the Community Health Department in CMC Vellore. 'Hectic' is putting it very light! Life used to be a whirlwind of activity. We used to work hard and the small breaks that we got from work used to be super-fun. I remember once my friends and I after a grinding 36 hour shift in the hospital, went to the movies. All three of us slept through the whole show, cozy and comfortable in the soft cushion chairs in the cool air-conditioned theatre. That was heaven for the Vellore heat. Those were days when the mind was really blank. We lived in the moment. There was no time to think and worry about the future or think and fret about the past.
But we were also wondering if staying busy is an escape mechanism to run away from confronting the main issue that is causing the stress. Is it healthy 'coping'? Will all the pent up frustrations and feelings come crash landing one day? Are we doing the right thing by distracting ourselves from feeling the distressing emotions?
I think the very fact that we acknowledge that we are distressed mentally is the first step in getting better. "There is a difference between feeling neutral and feeling numb", says Briana West in her collection of essays titled "101 essays that will change the way you think"
When we distract ourselves from our painful emotions by doing something meaningful for us and staying busy, I think we are making active efforts to stay neutral and not allowing the distress to overpower us. The purpose and meaning that we experience out of staying busy doing things meaningful to us, helps us slowly heal. Sometimes we may try to numb our emotional distress by distracting ourselves with alcohol, movies, parties, crowds. I think these just make the feeling numb. Being numb means that the underlying emotional distress is building, but there is so much happening that we are not able to sense it right then. Healing may or may not happen and there is always the risk that the issue will break out some time in the future.
I strongly believe that staying busy doing things which give us meaning in life is a healthy coping strategy. But not all people who are busy are that way by choice. Some have no choice but to stay busy. But if the fruits of their busy work is supporting their family and themselves, then that should also count as meaning in life.
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