Between thoughts and words

There are age-dependent themes in conversations between friends. In the late 20s and 30s conversations tend to be about marriage, children, schools etc. In the 40s and 50s conversations move towards care of dependent elderly parents. In a typical middle class family caregiving for dependent elderly parents is included as one of the routine responsibilities. The living arrangements may not be amenable to providing physical care. Nevertheless even from a distance, the care responsibilities are often there and they are a major part of monthly budget planning and planning of day to day life. My parents are quite independent in many aspects, but the worry about how they navigate the new digital world, electronic transactions and everyday life which has now strongly become technology dependent is a constant lingering one. Yesterday I saw a patient in our clinic and her story was such a stark contrast to this situation.  Mrs. M came to the clinic with a swelling of her left foot, severe pain

I recently saw a patient and faced some challenges in treating her. This taught me a very important lesson. A basic capacity of imagination is crucial for effectively navigating our lives. Every thinking human being is endowed with this capacity to imagine, some more vividly and some scantily. When the capacity to imagine is weak, we end up with diminished hope, low self esteem and lack of initiative in doing things. I have been dreaming of being a writer for as long as I can remember. Starting from my childhood when I used to read Enid Blyton's children's books I have always marvelled at the capacity of writers to weave a magical universe in our minds with their words. I have dreamt of having books published with my name on the cover, the books displayed in the popular book stores and people buying them, reading them and discussing the content. But life took a drastically different course and I ended up being a clinician and researcher, and I mainly write academic papers now.

Within a few minutes of starting the clinic we got news from the village nearby that Mrs. M had passed away. The news of Mrs. M's passing was constantly in the back of our minds as we went about seeing patients and treating them. We had a full clinic that day and immediately following the clinic, we had committed to conduct a medical camp for children who were orphaned by COVID 19 in the nearby region. We were unsure whether we would even finish clinic early enough to head to the camp. But surprisingly the clinic slowed down and closed sooner than we expected. There was time to visit Mrs. M's home quickly before we can head to the camp. My colleague and I went in her car and as we neared Mrs. M's village, my heart started racing. I have witnessed so many deaths of patients, relatives, friends and even students, and have attended funerals. But it never gets easy. With a lot of trepidation we reached the village. It was not difficult to spot. Mrs. M's home is right on the

Trigger Warning - bullying, suicide attempt content.  Yesterday I saw a young boy in the clinic. Our clinical encounter last for roughly 20 minutes and it is strongly etched in my mind. I was disturbed for a long time even after I had come home last night. I am still thinking about him. My predominant thoughts when I think about this 15 year old boy studying 11th standard in the local school are helplessness, a gross feeling of insufficiency as an adult in the community and still not being clear how to help him.  My colleague brought him to me so that we can see him together. The boy had repeated episodes of fainting and falling over the past 6 months. He had lost consciousness and fallen at different times which were totally sudden and unpredictable. Sometimes, he had fallen at home, sometimes in school. The mother said at those times he completely became cold and lay still like a log of wood. We spoke to him and got more details about these episodes. It was not making sense to me. I

Suzanne Koven in her article titled “What is a Mentor?” published in the New England Journal of Medicine wrote, “…a true mentor is someone who has more imagination about you than you have about yourself”. Today is 5 th   of September, Teacher’s Day in India. It has been particularly sentimental for me, because I resigned my job as a teacher about 7 months ago. Teaching is not my main job nowadays. I have been reflecting all day about my teachers and how they have influenced my life and what being a teacher meant to me.   When very important events happen, the Universe pauses for a second and focuses all its energy on the event. I know this, because every time I think of the moment I stepped into Room 101 in Apollo Hospital to meet Dr. K.P. Misra, my teacher and mentor, I feel that the whole Universe paused for a second. It was a transformative moment. Initially it was just awe and wonder of being so close to such a great man, an exemplary teacher and one of the most compassionate clini

One of my friends met me after a long time last week. She told me "I felt like giving you a Jaadu Ki Jappi" (a magical hug). She meant that I looked sad (her perception!) and she wished that a 'magical hug' could make me feel better. While saying this she also said, "...self-care is very important. take care of yourself first. Working for the society and everything else comes secondary..." In recent times there is a lot of discourse on self-care. Self care is popularly defined as adopting behaviours which ensure a complete state of physical, mental and social well being. In the context of chronic diseases like diabetes and high blood pressure the word self-care refers to adopting healthy life styles like reducing carbohydrates and fats in diet, following regular physical activity, avoiding smoking and alcohol and practicing yoga and meditation to maintain good mental health. However, even when someone is healthy and do not have any illness, self care has bee