What perfectionism brings to creativity?

One of the most common themes that my sister and I discuss with each other is the need to get our work to be perfect before it is put out there for people to consume. Both of us are creators. I write and do podcasts and she is a painter. Our styles are very different. She will keep reviewing her painting again and again, keep finding errors here and there, revising them to the best of her ability and sometimes she will just discard some paintings without even allowing the world to see them. On the other hand, I many times don't even hear the podcast recording before I post it. I don't even review the blogs I write before I publish them. Two extreme courses of action! I have been thinking about perfectionism and what it brings to the work of a creator. 

I think the need for our work to be perfect comes from different spaces: (1) A need for validation and approval, (2) A deep attachment to the content, (3) A belief that what is created is first of its kind, original, (4) A heightened sense of importance of the content and its influence on its consumers, and (5) A deep seated aversion to criticism. Each of these reasons is a recipe for self destruction. I will argue in this blog about each of these points and reflect on how they are counterproductive and sometimes far away from truth. 

The need for constant validation and approval comes from a sense of narcissism. We often create some content and wait to see how many people have consumed it. We also crave the 'likes' 'hearts' and 'shares' that the content receives. A lot has been written about this phenomenon of seeking validation. Receiving validation for our content reassures us that we are relevant. It gives us a confidence that we are connected to the society around us and we are 'needed'. It is an indicator of the social standing of a person. The more people with whom I network, the more 'likes', 'hearts' I am likely to get for my content and therefore, the more socially connected I am likely to feel. It is a basic survival instinct to get the feeling of social connectedness. We all crave it, and this need for constant validation is a manifestation of that craving. But one point that we must remember is that the 'likes' and 'hearts' for our content is only a surrogate marker for our social connectedness. Who will come stand by my side when I am in trouble? Who will support me when I need it? Who will rejoice on my success? Who are those people for whom I am the go-to person? How many such people are there in my life? These are the true indicators of social connectedness. 

Secondly, the thought "I created this" with the emphasis on I, is the primary thought in many of our minds when we create something. I used to believe that my podcasts are mine and used to feel attached to them. I used to also hold on deeply to my blogs and used to believe that they are 'mine' and used to be a regular follower of the analytics of the reach and access to the content. I have now stopped following the statistics of how many people read my blogs, which countries and continents the blog has reached out to etc. The detachment comes from the space that if I hold on and identify too much with the content, it remains just mine, but when I detach myself from it, it becomes everyone's. It is as though the universe realises that it is everyone's and it takes it across to everyone. I get some pleasant surprises when I sometimes find my blogs circulating all the way back to me through social media shares.

The third major reason for perfectionism is the delusion of 'originality'. Original content is so rare, that people who create original content rarely know or even think about its originality. Even this blog, I am sure has content that can be found elsewhere if someone diligently searches the internet. I have not plagiarised or even read anything before writing this. I am just writing this based on some notes that I have just scribbled on my notepad. But still, I doubt that any of these thoughts are 'original'. What I have heard, read, seen, consumed from the world around me has influenced these thoughts. I have just probably put them together in a different form, based on how I have internalised and processed these ideas. Similarly when an artist is creating a painting, it is heavily influenced by what they see, feel, perceive and emote from outside. Letting go of this delusion of originality helps a lot in overcoming perfectionism. 

The fourth factor that influences perfectionism is a heightened sense of importance of the content and the impact that it has on people. It helps to remember that we never know what content create a new trend. We never know which words we write will have an impact on people. We can never plan on writing 'influential words'. I recently skimmed through the shorts on a social media platform and while passing by stumbled upon a short interview segment with a Tamil television comic. He was referring to an orphanage by name and how he has supported them. He mentioned it in the passing, there was no dramatic effect, no pause, the orphanage name was not highlighted. It was just a passing mention. I used to regularly donate to this orphanage in the past, but stopped a few months ago because of some bitter experience with their staff. After stumbling upon their name in that interview, I have now resumed donating to them. I am not even sure that the comedian planned to influence anyone to donate to that orphanage. But the influence happened! That is why, I believe we can never plan on which of our content or work will impact others. Therefore, our work need not be planned and executed to perfection. It will have an impact even if it is imperfect, because we never know what influences people!

Finally, I think perfectionism comes from an aversion to criticism. It is a natural and normal response. I think, everyone dislikes criticism. Some of us learn to get used to it, take it in our stride, and take it positively. But I doubt if anyone likes criticism. I have had some very painful reactions to criticism. Recently, I had written a blog on mental health and coping strategies. One of my very good friends sent me voice notes after reading this blog. She was very critical about the content of the blog. I reacted quite strongly to this criticism. I was quite hurt and was unable to even have a discussion with her. I just texted her, "I am sorry, I don't want to hear any further comments from you in this tone"! Subsequently after calming down, I have realised where her ideas came from and have engaged with them and have even written a different blog about it. But my initial response to criticism was very emotional! But one thing I have ensured is that I have never allowed criticism from stopping me from creating content or posting them. I think it is useful to understand that there are multiple perspectives and interpretations of a content, and therefore criticism is inevitable. It is not an easy thing to internalise, but getting a grasp of this helps us stay open to criticism and create content despite criticism. 

Ultimately, beauty lies in the small imperfections in the world around us. Perfection is artificial and very subjective. What is perfect to me need not be perfect to another person. We can always see things as perfect, even when they are not, when we open our minds to accepting things as they are. I know this blog has many grammatical and spelling errors. I am posting it without much edits, because I believe this is enough!