Having a daily routine is one of the greatest comforts in life. Doing something day in and day out, regularly, with sincerity is highly reassuring and relaxing. Many times we are not even mindful of the things we do routinely. Even as we do them, we are thinking something else, planning something else, but our movements are programmed so well that we are still accomplishing what we set to do. Why are such routines so comforting? Why do we find them reassuring?
The reason why routines are comforting is because they give a sense of predictability in an insecure world. The assurance that there are some things which must be done in certain ways regularly make us feel a sense of control over our lives. Getting up in the morning, cooking the meal of the day, cleaning the house, leaving home for work, finishing work related activities, returning home, and again carrying out household routines before going to bed with a book is my comfort routine. When this routine changes, it creates unrest. This feeling of unrest and insecurity is why many of us resist change.
I recently resigned my job as a teacher in a medical college. I am getting used to a new routine and am going through the unrest of settling into it. When we adhere to an externally fixed time schedule, like the timings of the college from 8 AM to 4 PM, the routine is enforced on us. But when we work independently such timelines are blurred. The whole day is open for work and therefore, nowadays, I often find myself over-working. My work day starts very early nowadays as I do not have to even bathe or dress up to go to work. There is no fixed lunch break, as work continues even then, and there is no end time for work. For example, yesterday I found myself writing research proposals and editing curriculum documents all through the day, right up to 8 PM at night. I need to set myself some new kind of routine, this kind of work will not sustain!
The lack of an externally enforced routine can also work exactly opposite to this. Without somewhere to go daily to adhere to a routine, one could completely slack and not accomplish what needs to be done. When there is a separate work and living space, entering into the work space gives external cues to motivate the mind to work. It acts like a switch on, switch off phenomenon. I had a quaint little cabin in my college. I had personalised it with many pictures, paintings and posters. Every morning I entered that cabin, my mind would switch into 'work mode'. The transition between work and life was enabled by the cabin and the way I had personalised it. Now, I work in the room where I sleep. The mind is trying to learn to switch on and switch off without the help of external cues.
Culturally and socially, we have placed too much emphasis on 'productivity'. Going out to work and earning a regular salary has been strongly linked to 'productivity' in the minds of people of my generation. Therefore more modern ways of being productive like creating content for social media, writing, etc. do not seem very 'productive' to me. I am trying to understand and internalise the fact that being productive can be achieved by working from home and independently in my own timeline.
I have observed another important change in the way I think nowadays. When there was a regular source of income, work was work, but today work is money. Every time I do some work, I am trying to translate it into monetary terms. I am finding this thought process very unhealthy. Working purely for work's sake and not having money in the equation was liberating. There was a guarantee that my livelihood would be taken care of by the salary and so I gave my everything to work. I never thought twice before staying over-time to complete some work. But now with that assured income going off the picture, and time boundaries disappearing, I am struggling to find purpose and meaning in work. I did not realise that not having a regular steady income could do this to my mindset.
Now I have an important task ahead of me for the coming weeks. I need to figure out a new routine for myself. I need to tell my mind that from this point work time starts, and from this point work time stops. Slowly, I should also create my own workspace, a small office of sorts, to create the familiar work place environment for myself. I need to redefine productivity for myself. If I am going to be an independent consultant, working on project consultancies, then I may not have a steady income. I need to teach my mind not to check the account statement on the last day of each month, and be reassured that periodic project income is capable of sustaining my livelihood. It shouldn't be this difficult. Writing this blog is my way of speaking to myself and telling myself that this phase of insecurity and uncertainty will pass when I set into my new routine. I am looking forward to finding meaning and purpose in this new routine and life.
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